My Father

pugsly · Post by **pugsly** » Thu Nov 12, 2015 12:25 pm

I had not spoken to him for 2 years due to a financial dispute , he is 75 and a stubborn old cunt, i went down to his home last night and seen him and my mother, he is a rough Man , but he started welling up, but i could not hold the grudge any longer, if he or i were to die and we never made it up , it would have been terrible ,glad now. could not let it fester any longer

Post by **Basualdo** » Thu Nov 12, 2015 12:37 pm

I bet it did the world of good for your mother too.

the puddin · Post by **the puddin** » Thu Nov 12, 2015 1:10 pm

Good man pugsly.

Steve Hunt · Post by **Steve Hunt** » Thu Nov 12, 2015 1:17 pm

the puddin wrote:Good man pugsly.

+ 1

delboy1983 · Post by **delboy1983** » Thu Nov 12, 2015 1:29 pm

Never a truer saying than life is too short.
A listen to the words in the song "Father and Son" by Cat Stevens sums it all up.
Well done Pugsly everyone will feel a lot better including yourself.

It's not time to make a change
Just relax, take it easy
You're still young, that's your fault
There's so much you have to know
Find a girl, settle down
If you want you can marry
Look at me, I am old, but I'm happy

I was once like you are now
And I know that it's not easy
To be calm when you've found
Something going on
But take your time, think a lot
Think of everything you've got
For you will still be here tomorrow
But your dreams may not

How can I try to explain?
When I do he turns away again
It's always been the same, same old story
From the moment I could talk
I was ordered to listen
Now there's a way
And I know that I have to go away
I know I have to go

It's not time to make a change
Just sit down, take it slowly
You're still young, that's your fault
There's so much you have to go through
Find a girl, settle down
If you want you can marry
Look at me, I am old, but I'm happy

All the times that I've cried
Keeping all the things I knew inside
It's hard, but it's harder to ignore it
If they were right I'd agree
But it's them they know, not me
Now there's a way
And I know that I have to go away
I know I have to go

blues4ever · Post by **blues4ever** » Thu Nov 12, 2015 2:11 pm

pugsly wrote:I had not spoken to him for 2 years due to a financial dispute , he is 75 and a stubborn old cunt, i went down to his home last night and seen him and my mother, he is a rough Man , but he started welling up, but i could not hold the grudge any longer, if he or i were to die and we never made it up , it would have been terrible ,glad now. could not let it fester any longer

My old man passed away 19 years ago and I miss him every day,we rarely argued. Believe me you have done the right thing not worth falling out with the old man over money.

kancutlawns · Post by **kancutlawns** » Thu Nov 12, 2015 10:35 pm

Well done for making up with him pugs. Got my dad living with me and my wife. He's in his late 70s, thankfully his mental faculties are as sharp as they've ever been. I've had shedloads of arguments with him over the years and we're both pretty argumentative and stand our ground as a matter of principle - like two stags fighting their ground. Needed my wife to step in to cool things down otherwise things could really fester.

But with our dads, they've built so much up in their lives. They've grown up probably in austerity in the 40s, 50s and 60s. They've brought their families up, built their careers developed friendships. Now, they see that they're physically weaker, may have lost their spouses (as he has), see their own children grow up and have their own lives with their families, see their own friends, family members and work colleagues pass away. They see themselves as a spare part. My dad often tells me that he has worries that he likes to share and can't tell anyone about them. I guess when you live with your parents, you almost become desensitised to their worries and think they're not relevant to you but really you have to take a step back and sit down and allow them to open up. You need to take your kids to see your own man because they feel their purpose in life diminishes. They need to feel they have a purpose and matter to those around them.

Once they've gone, you really miss them and have regrets. Don't let it come to that. Laugh with your dad, open up to him and just let him talk about what he wants to. We're too proud and are scare in case we expose our own weaknesses. We think if we do then we're regressing to when we were young and got bollocked by our old man.

I guess I'm speaking about what I should do myself instead of advising others what to do. But be close to your dad, he needs you and love you. That's what my wife keeps telling me when I get the huff with my dad. Women understand these things more then we do sometimes.

AlcoholBrazil · Post by **AlcoholBrazil** » Fri Nov 13, 2015 6:37 am

Top Man. Here's to a Wonderful Christmas for Pugsly Senior and Junior.

delboy1983 · Post by **delboy1983** » Fri Nov 13, 2015 7:17 am

kancutlawns wrote:Well done for making up with him pugs. Got my dad living with me and my wife. He's in his late 70s, thankfully his mental faculties are as sharp as they've ever been. I've had shedloads of arguments with him over the years and we're both pretty argumentative and stand our ground as a matter of principle - like two stags fighting their ground. Needed my wife to step in to cool things down otherwise things could really fester.

But with our dads, they've built so much up in their lives. They've grown up probably in austerity in the 40s, 50s and 60s. They've brought their families up, built their careers developed friendships. Now, they see that they're physically weaker, may have lost their spouses (as he has), see their own children grow up and have their own lives with their families, see their own friends, family members and work colleagues pass away. They see themselves as a spare part. My dad often tells me that he has worries that he likes to share and can't tell anyone about them. I guess when you live with your parents, you almost become desensitised to their worries and think they're not relevant to you but really you have to take a step back and sit down and allow them to open up. You need to take your kids to see your own man because they feel their purpose in life diminishes. They need to feel they have a purpose and matter to those around them.

Once they've gone, you really miss them and have regrets. Don't let it come to that. Laugh with your dad, open up to him and just let him talk about what he wants to. We're too proud and are scare in case we expose our own weaknesses. We think if we do then we're regressing to when we were young and got bollocked by our old man.

I guess I'm speaking about what I should do myself instead of advising others what to do. But be close to your dad, he needs you and love you. That's what my wife keeps telling me when I get the huff with my dad. Women understand these things more then we do sometimes.

Spot on Lawnsy and now those of us who have kids adopt our dad's role

Steve Hunt · Post by **Steve Hunt** » Fri Nov 13, 2015 9:30 am

I can't recall ever seriously falling out with my Dad.

Can't say the same about my Mum, though

kancutlawns · Post by **kancutlawns** » Fri Nov 13, 2015 9:55 am

The other way round with me Steve. Hardly ever fell out with my mum, told my dad that we were both like brothers rather than father and son, the way we constantly fell out.

kancutlawns · Post by **kancutlawns** » Fri Nov 13, 2015 11:48 am

Thanks del. Must be a great feeling having grandchildren for you. Less responsibility and the opportunity to enjoy life with them?

delboy1983 · Post by **delboy1983** » Fri Nov 13, 2015 1:35 pm

kancutlawns wrote:Thanks del. Must be a great feeling having grandchildren for you. Less responsibility and the opportunity to enjoy life with them?

Absolutely ,new lease of live for us old ones ,watching them grow up.

Zippy · Post by **Zippy** » Fri Nov 13, 2015 3:59 pm

Had a dispute with my step father stretching back to September 2014. We have not spoken since then either.

kevin04 · Post by **kevin04** » Mon Nov 16, 2015 10:07 pm

That Scottish referendum got some coverage in the Zipster household?

Just joking, and I don't know the circumstances, but it's always good to make up with people. Life is too short as Friday has shown.

mistymorning · Post by **mistymorning** » Sat Dec 12, 2015 4:18 am

Whatever you do don't buy him a really nice present then when he says oh you shouldn't have don't say 'well take it out of the money you're owe me then'. Definitely don't do that.

m4 colin · Post by **m4 colin** » Sat Dec 26, 2015 1:29 pm

All my poor old Dad wanted was to retire and potter round the house and garden tunelessly whistling........ He never made it. 57 Kaput. I have now outlived him by nearly five years They have not on the whole been good years

warmleatherette · Post by **warmleatherette** » Sat Dec 26, 2015 1:42 pm

Steve Hunt wrote:
the puddin wrote:Good man pugsly.

+ 1

+2 you only get one dad, money comes and goes.

Robert Heenan · Post by **Robert Heenan** » Sat Dec 26, 2015 9:06 pm

My old man is 74 and and now retired Mathematics and Physics teacher (taught Mathematics and Physics upto A Level standard) My old man has a heart of gold but is not one to cross or get on the wrong side off. He was a former boxer. Growing up if i got seriously out of line like when i was 14 and got caught wasting money on slot machine, i was given a severe beating with a leather belt.

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