Tour De Celeb (CH5) (With Goffeh)

[carcinogen]

Geezus fuck. What sorry fuckers. I'd bang the fuck out of Amy Williams don't get me wrong, physically it ticks every box, but she is one lazy attention-seeking hoe. As for Gough, is there no bar lower left for him? I usually give a free pass for a man who has to provide for children etc. But surely Dazza has enough money to provide for his family without needing to undertake this utter shite.

[The Ghost of Alex Higgins]

No, he spunked it all in some ponzi scheme

[carcinogen]

No, he spunked it all in some ponzi scheme

Oh that's made my Christmas.

[The Ghost of Alex Higgins]

Pruthi looks like a hybrid of both Mikes: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-17299967

[sjbarca]

Has the series started?

[carcinogen]

Has the series started?

No. I saw a commerical on 5Plus or somesuch shitcunt channe beyond 134l promoting this periodstain. No offense to periods. Or stains.

[Basualdo]

Christ on a...er....bike, is there no item of spandex left on the planet that Spangles hasn't tried to insert his increasingly bulky frame into? !!

Reality TV dreck and tight clothing, a match made in Goffies Grindr heaven.

[Basualdo]

Think of it though.
Even in the low rent, Poundland and tins of Kestrel lager world of reality TV, Spangles has plummeted from the relative heights of prime time Saturday night on BBC1's Strictly to this, F list celebrity bicycle racing on Channel 5's cast off channel.
There is only one rung left under this from which to fall.
Ghost hunting in an empty factory with the two thirds of Banarama not married to Andrew Ridgely on Watch at 2.30am.
Christ alone knows how he is gonna work some spandex attire into that fucker, the daft old closeted cunt.

[Steve Hunt]

Just noticed that it has got Jodie Kidd in it.

For that reason (& only that reason), I will watch it - even though I know it will be absolute shite

[Steve Hunt]

Channel 5 blurb:

Channel 5 today announces a thrilling new four part series, Tour De Celeb, where eight celebrities have just three months to prepare for the toughest physical and mental challenge on TV and in the amateur cycling world, L’Etape du Tour in France. A brutal 146km of endurance cycling through the French Alps, from Megeve to Morzine, L’Etape is the ultimate racing cycling challenge and the third largest participatory event in world sport.

Sporting legends, Austin Healey, Darren Gough and Amy Williams will be joined by stars from the world of entertainment and reality, Louie Spence, Lucy Mecklenburgh, Hugo Taylor, Jodie Kidd and Angellica Bell, as they embark on an arduous training s regime to prepare them physically and mentally for the strenuous task ahead.

Throughout the series, training will be monitored by top-level coaches who will ensure the riders reach L’Etape start line in the best possible shape. These include Dame Sarah Storey OBE, Britain’s most decorated female Paralympian in cycling and swimming and Rob Hayles, the three-time Olympic medallist and double Track World Champion. Joining them is Asker Jeukendrup, an internationally renowned exercise physiologist, sports nutritionist and Ironman tri-athlete.

It won’t all be hard graft in the saddle. Along the way, there’ll be ‘team-bonding’ events, including the notorious Nuclear Races, aerial yoga and aqua cycling, as well as innumerable pampering sessions to ease the saddle sores. This will help forge the key relationships and esprit de corps required to take on this challenge of a lifetime. They’ll also participate in a number of warm-up events, including the Bostin Peaks cycling sportive and the White Rose Classic, so coaches can assess their progress for when the 8 riders are divided into two teams of 4, for the main event.

We’ll follow the competitors as they track their fitness journey via ‘Diary Cam’, for an access all areas look into their all-encompassing trial. There’ll be no hiding place, when the lactic acid kicks in, and we’ll be able to see who has done ‘the hard yards’ in training and who is ‘the weakest link’, as they battle the steep climbs and treacherous, high-speed descents of this notorious course . Tour De Celeb charts the personal journeys of our team, so be prepared for drama out on the road and back at base.

Watching Goffeh struggle up the Alps might actually be watchable - if he is really suffering.

[Fug1]

Recognise Goff and Healey out of that lot.

[Steve Hunt]

Recognise Goff and Healey out of that lot.

Not the gorgeous Ms Kidd?

[Fug1]

Recognise Goff and Healey out of that lot.

Not the gorgeous Ms Kidd?

The one on the end Steve? She was in the gumball rally proper and on top gear?

[Steve Hunt]

Recognise Goff and Healey out of that lot.

Not the gorgeous Ms Kidd?

The one on the end Steve? She was in the gumball rally proper and on top gear?

Yup - that's her, Fug

What's not to like?:

[Basualdo]

She always seems to be a nice, likeable girl, but not much of a looker. For me anyhow. Too stringy.
Like an upmarket Zoe Ball but without the Plug from the Bash St Kids face.

[Steve Hunt]

She always seems to be a nice, likeable girl, but not much of a looker. For me anyhow. Too stringy.
Like an upmarket Zoe Ball but without the Plug from the Bash St Kids face.

Utter bollocks, Bas !

She's more like a cross between Sharapova & Denise Van Outen.

Which is absolutely fine with me.

You wouldn't kick her out of your bed

[Basualdo]

No, but thats not saying much. I'm notoriously unfussy (& desperate).
I like her but dont fancy her, thats all.

[Steve Hunt]

No, but thats not saying much. I'm notoriously unfussy (& desperate).

You are not alone, my friend

[finchman]

Is Louis Spence homosexual?

[The Ghost of Alex Higgins]

Is Louis Spence homosexual?

Why, are you back in the market?

[Steve Hunt]

Is Louis Spence homosexual?

I'm not sure, Finchy.

[Reg]

Pruthi looks like a hybrid of both Mikes: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-17299967

Ha. That's uncanny.

Goffy is the only one I recognise out of that lot.

Are the others famous?

[Steve Hunt]

Pruthi looks like a hybrid of both Mikes: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-17299967

Ha. That's uncanny.

Goffy is the only one I recognise out of that lot.

Are the others famous?

Blimey. I would have thought that you would have been a big admirer of Louis Spence's work, Reg?

[Reg]

I never watch that sort of TV and know nothing about celebrities (and care even less).

I've heard his name - is he a judge on a TV show?

[Steve Hunt]

I never watch that sort of TV and know nothing about celebrities (and care even less).

I've heard his name - is he a judge on a TV show?

I'm not sure, Reg.

I thought he was a dancer.

Like you, I don't watch any of that shite. I'm sure someone can help us out. Lawnsy? Rupe?