The Aston Villa disaster/confusion/conjecture/general ridicule thread 2016 Onwards

[kancutlawns]

Give it Stanloy and Bozzie droime toime.

With Scroungend Yorkie, Daveed, Merse and Cas.

[JW90]

So many Friends of the Station that TalkSport will have to buy the club.

[kancutlawns]

Can't see Fat Sam getting a crack at the job. Looks like he's going to be hit by punitive sanctions from the FA which would rule him out of managing in this country for the foreseeable future. From what I've been reading, David Wagner is in the running for the job. Huddersfield would be insane to let him leave without a huge compensation amount and he'd be mad to leave a side he's taken to the top of the Championship even if it is only early October.

[kancutlawns]

Looks like Bruce is favourite now.

[m4rkb]

Good!
We're damaged goods in managerial terms but Bruce will get us on a stable path. Let's hope he can do it before Dr Zeus considers he's had too long.

[m4rkb]

Fucking hell. After about six hours of believing this :
http://www.socceronsunday.com/article/b ... a-manager/

I find out it's a spoof. Mind you this is a clue-

“I’d be lying if I said Villa wasn’t a huge comedown from the England gig,” he told Soccer on Sunday. “It’s a humiliation, if I’m honest. Having to take the Villa job is every manager’s worst nightmare. But I’ve hit my rock bottom now. The only way from Villa Park is up. I can’t sink any lower — that’s for sure.”

“Some would say I deserve this,” added the former West Ham manager. “I got loose-lipped over a few pints of vino and lost the only job I ever wanted. Managing Aston Villa might be God’s way of punishing me, but it’s a cruel sentence. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.”

[m4rkb]

PS - fucking baggies fans are to blame for this.

[kancutlawns]

Good!
We're damaged goods in managerial terms but Bruce will get us on a stable path. Let's hope he can do it before Dr Zeus considers he's had too long.

Looks like Wagner's the man the owner wants. Interestingly, he's not denied being interested and Huddersfield haven't distanced themselves either.

[delboy1983]

Big Sam Appointed New Aston Villa Manager

big-sam-villa.jpg

Sam Allardyce has been appointed manager of Aston Villa on a 5 year deal. The former England manager replaces Roberto Di Matteo following the Italian’s sacking after just 124 days in charge

.

[kancutlawns]

Someone's obviously superimposed Fat Sam's head on Remy Garde'a shoulders. Either that or the ex England coach has lost a lot of wait ... and that's a quick appointment.

[delboy1983]

Someone's obviously superimposed Fat Sam's head on Remy Garde'a shoulders. Either that or the ex England coach has lost a lot of wait ... and that's a quick appointment.

Missed Big Sam's statement on getting the job

Allardyce admits that he has mixed feelings about the new challenge.

Comedown

Big Sam“I’d be lying if I said Villa wasn’t a huge comedown from the England gig,” he told Soccer on Sunday. “It’s a humiliation, if I’m honest. Having to take the Villa job is every manager’s worst nightmare. But I’ve hit my rock bottom now. The only way from Villa Park is up. I can’t sink any lower — that’s for sure.”

“Some would say I deserve this,” added the former West Ham manager. “I got loose-lipped over a few pints of vino and lost the only job I ever wanted. Managing Aston Villa might be God’s way of punishing me, but it’s a cruel sentence. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.”

[m4rkb]

I just posted that quote del. Do please keep up

[kancutlawns]

[delboy1983]

Great minds Mark

[delboy1983]

Jack Grealish gave an interview as well

According to Jack Grealish, Big Sam wasted no time in addressing the Villa squad after training today.

“

The gaffer levelled with us,” the midfielder told Soccer on Sunday. “He said he doesn’t want to be here any more than we do, and that we’re all here because we’ve done something wrong. But it’s our job now to claw ourselves out of this West Midlands shit hole. Micah Richards tried to start a ‘slow clap’, but it fizzled out.”

“Then the gaffer broke down crying and sat down on the ground,” added Grealish. “He just kept saying ‘Stupid Sam, Stupid Sam’ over and over, and smacking his forehead with his fist. Agbonlahorsy tried to put an arm around him, but the gaffer just screamed ‘DON’T TOUCH ME WITH THOSE FILTHY VILLA PAWS’.”

[m4rkb]

Jack Grealish gave an interview as well

According to Jack Grealish, Big Sam wasted no time in addressing the Villa squad after training today.

“

The gaffer levelled with us,” the midfielder told Soccer on Sunday. “He said he doesn’t want to be here any more than we do, and that we’re all here because we’ve done something wrong. But it’s our job now to claw ourselves out of this West Midlands shit hole. Micah Richards tried to start a ‘slow clap’, but it fizzled out.”

“Then the gaffer broke down crying and sat down on the ground,” added Grealish. “He just kept saying ‘Stupid Sam, Stupid Sam’ over and over, and smacking his forehead with his fist. Agbonlahorsy tried to put an arm around him, but the gaffer just screamed ‘DON’T TOUCH ME WITH THOSE FILTHY VILLA PAWS’.”

Those fucking baggies fans who fed me this bollocks are going to be drinking tea with a good dollop of Fairy Liquid in it tomorrow. It's a little recognised fact that the makers failed to take advantage of in their adverts. Most cheap washing up liquids give the game away early with a bit of froth on the top but Fairy Liquid just sinks to the bottom in a concentrated heap. One good glug and your innards will be frothing up like a fucking massive frothing thing on turbo. It takes gallons of water to wash it out and no man is capable of drinking that except Alan Brazil.

[Heady]

Despite my despair, this thread is very funny

[kancutlawns]

Jack Grealish gave an interview as well

According to Jack Grealish, Big Sam wasted no time in addressing the Villa squad after training today.

“

The gaffer levelled with us,” the midfielder told Soccer on Sunday. “He said he doesn’t want to be here any more than we do, and that we’re all here because we’ve done something wrong. But it’s our job now to claw ourselves out of this West Midlands shit hole. Micah Richards tried to start a ‘slow clap’, but it fizzled out.”

“Then the gaffer broke down crying and sat down on the ground,” added Grealish. “He just kept saying ‘Stupid Sam, Stupid Sam’ over and over, and smacking his forehead with his fist. Agbonlahorsy tried to put an arm around him, but the gaffer just screamed ‘DON’T TOUCH ME WITH THOSE FILTHY VILLA PAWS’.”

Those fucking baggies fans who fed me this bollocks are going to be drinking tea with a good dollop of Fairy Liquid in it tomorrow. It's a little recognised fact that the makers failed to take advantage of in their adverts. Most cheap washing up liquids give the game away early with a bit of froth on the top but Fairy Liquid just sinks to the bottom in a concentrated heap. One good glug and your innards will be frothing up like a fucking massive frothing thing on turbo. It takes gallons of water to wash it out and no man is capable of drinking that except Alan Brazil.

The Mail's been shitting their pants over the "hilarious" Virgin Trains tweet and the so called ongoing feud with Newcastle about RDM going. A critical stage in Villa's survival and those cents are fucking about with shite stories like these. They're not remotely funny.

[m4rkb]

Well, there was only going to be one winner of that game so hard luck Wolves.

Fucking sod all from Villa in the second half bar the usual hoofing and sticking boots in hopeful of the loose ball.

Bruce hasn't had a chance to even allocate himself a parking space yet so none of that dreadful performance can be blamed on him. It will be interesting to see what he can do in just one week because after spending 30 million I couldn't see a player on the pitch who could play at the level we expect to return to or one that played as part of a team. RDM claimed we'd see the fruits of his work very shortly but on that it performance it looks like delusion.

[kancutlawns]

Bruce has his work cut out and if he or any others think he has special dispensation over say RDM they've got another thing coming. Patience is very thin on the ground and he's not going to get two years to get things right if the results don't start coming.

I watched only the first half and again we started well, took the lead and then conceded. By all accounts as you said, we were given a pasting in a derby by opponents who are in the bottom three and are likely to elbow their manager.

I don't think he has been blamed for this evening's result and it would be incredibly stupid of the fans to do so. With the likes of Kodija and McCormack, why are we sitting on single goal leads and then defending deep in our own half for much of the second half? Why did Richards start at RB?

I take your point m4rk that Bruce needs to be given time and respect but the club's pretty fucked even after or more so having spent £50m. Bruce has to change the mentality of the side and I thing morale's in the gutter which makes it quite concerning.

I know you have confidence in Bruce but he doesn't bring any planning or structure in place, just a short term fix and if by some sort of miracle we do go up, he'll leave and we'll be back down within a couple of seasons. The Blues association doesn't bother me, I'm finding it difficult to be inspired in anyway about him. I'll get behind him but we're exhausting all our options now. If we don't win any of our next say five matches, what then?

Very depressing and we need to spend big again in January. On a more pleasing note, it's nice to know Sunderland are as cack as we were this time last season.

[delboy1983]

I backed McCormack to be top scorer in the division[well that's down]However should he start putting them away as he has done with every club so far you will start winning games and moving up the table .If he doesn't you are in a relegation battle.

[m4rkb]

McCormack has an excellent chance to put us 2-1up. Unfortunately Kodjia didn't spot the obvious square ball to him right in front of goal which even I could score with my leg in plaster. Instead Kodjia , on his weaker foot, tried to put it through a defender and a keeper with some sort of scuffed shot. It's selfish non team work like that which costs valuable points.

Plus there's no spirit in the team. The thirty million spend was all on pieces to different jigsaws none of which seem to fit. Finally, what the fuck was Ayew doing on the bench?

It's a good job you didn't watch the second half Lawns, you can never get that wasted 45minutes of your life back.

[Petingo]

Did I miss sommat?

When did Steve Bruce become Villa boss?

[Carlos J]

Yes you did.

Err, Wednesday, ol' Pet.

[Heady]

The shame.

What we need though